nordstrom anniversary sale picks

nsale

one | two | three

four | five | six

seven | eight | nine



you’ve probably heard by now that nordstrom’s anniversary sale is already underway for cardholders, and it opens to the public this friday. I’ve been able to shop the early access because I do have a nordstrom debit card. because there are so many things included in this sale, it’s easy to get lost and overwhelmed with the selection from the get-go. because this sale happens at roughly the same time every year (mid-july to early august), I try to do a cleaning out of my closet before, both to do some necessary cleaning & organizing, as well as to see what my closet needs for the upcoming season. the best part of the #nsale for me is that it’s on fall/winter clothing, for multiple reasons. one, f/w clothing tends to be more expensive because of the materials used and how much of it – think wool, thick cotton, etc. secondly, the fall & winter start early and last forever in chicago. except for the warm days of deep summer, my colder weather clothing items are constantly in use from september to march (and even into june with the lighter, more versatile pieces). knowing that these will be hardworking pieces in my closet, I’m ok with spending a little bit more money on individual pieces than I normally would.


for this year’s sale, I knew right away what I needed: some dressier separates that would work well for my psych clinical rotation this fall. instead of our usual scrubs, we’ll be expected to dress in business casual attire while we’re on the floor. I’m desperately in need of some basic dress pants, so I ordered #4 and am eyeing #5 as well. I also needed a pair of dressy flats that were comfortable & practical enough for a hospital setting, but also had some things going for it in the style department. these ticked off all of those boxes (bonus that they look like the pair of flats the model is wearing in #5!). I can’t wait to try them on – cross fingers they fit! I also needed to pick up some dressier tops. I selected pieces that could be layered, such as a sleeveless shell & an open cardigan (bought it in cream, which looks to be sold out). I’ve talked before about how blazers don’t really work for me. I’ve found better luck over the years with clean, streamlined knit pieces that function like a blazer but are more accommodating and comfortable. I’m eyeing this piece, too – I know, I know, I just told you how blazers don’t work for me and then I tell you I’m eyeing one…but I was intrigued by the open front & knit material. if it works out, it would be a slightly more structured option than the cardigan but still with some give because of the fabric. I’m hoping it will stick around a little bit so I can try on the 4 pieces I ordered to see if they work out first.



the last three things are purely in the “want” category. the scarf would be perfect for fall, and it’s really tempting me even though I really don’t need another one. I tried out a free sample set of the living proof shampoo & conditioner I received with a sephora order, and they really helped keep my hair smooth and in control and not oily. I’m just about finished with the samples but have been eking out every last squeeze because I wasn’t thrilled about the price. this set is a good deal & will lessen the sting some. the shampoo & conditioner alone would be $50, so I’d be getting those + a full-size dry shampoo for $5 less. and lastly, I’ve been meaning to give these leggings a try as they’ve gotten rave reviews. my current pair of lounge leggings have seen better days, and these may be a good replacement.


are there any pieces you’ve picked up or currently eyeing from the #nsale?

let’s talk | dealing with depression

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I’ve talked about having depression on the blog before, but awhile back and not in very much detail. that’s a conscious decision on my part, since I don’t want to put every thing about me and my life out there on the web, even if I am taking part in the blogging community. but I am talking about it today here on the blog, because it’s very much a part of my life right now, and if I can’t share it on the space I created to share my thoughts, what’s the point?

I got diagnosed with major depressive disorder about 2 years ago, but I’d been depressed on and off since I was around 11 years old. I come from a family and a culture where mental health isn’t really discussed or even acknowledged as a condition. my parents came from very hard backgrounds, and to them, there was nothing wrong with “being sad” – life is hard, after all. and so I dealt with the depression on my own and without professional help until James finally convinced me to go.

I still remember sitting in the doctor’s office and hearing my diagnosis. as the doctor began explaining all the hallmarks of major depressive disorder – fatigue, lost of interest, cyclic episodes, constant sleeping, low self-esteem – I kept nodding along, feeling like he had taken a snapshot of what I called my “bad days”. I began a medication regimen, and I noticed that my “bad days” were becoming few and far between. when I did have one, it was nowhere near as low as the ones previously. I would feel a little bit down as opposed to drowning in a toxic sea of guilt, shame, and hopelessness. things were getting better, and I felt so much more vibrant and engaged and in control of my mental life than I had in a long time. so when the opportunity came for James to go back to boston for what seemed like a great job and he came to me asking if I’d be ok if he took it, I said yes.

I hadn’t had an episode in over a year. we were doing well. we were happy.Β IΒ was happy. I wanted to show that I was truly better.

but I wasn’t. 3 days after James left, I had an episode. in hindsight, it shouldn’t have been surprising. I was working full-time while in nursing school, which was undeniably stressful, even if I was enjoying myself most of the time. I was also planning a wedding. with the additional stress of a long-distance relationship, I was done. the move wasn’t the sole cause, but it was, I think, what broke the dam.

and I’ve been treading water ever since. there are days when I feel like I’m barely keeping my head above the water, being engulfed by a darkness and hopelessness so pervasive that it’s hard to stay awake, much less get out of bed in the morning. my mind feels hazy, as though I’m in a daze I can’t get out of. on better days, I make it through the day without crying, functioning & surviving, but never quite thriving. I think back to the other extended periods of depression in my life – 6 months during senior year of high school, 2 years in college – and I am paralyzed by the fear that this tunnel is nowhere close to ending. I know I have help now, and I know how to deal with some things better, and yet, I’m afraid.

I’m afraid because I know my illness makes people uncomfortable. I can see the discomfort in their eyes, and I just withdraw even more, which makes people think I’m cold or distant or weird. I see how it embarrasses my husband to have to explain to his family why I’m unresponsive or why things are not ok, and I withdraw that little bit more, choking on shame and guilt. I’ve always found it funny that people have mistaken my depression as coldness, because nothing could be farther from the truth. my mind isn’t cold – it’s frenetic, it’s chaotic, it’s unceasing, it’s on the verge of overheating. I’ve come to realize that my parents are not alone in their mistrust and ignorance of mental illness – the misunderstanding is pervasive, and it makes the journey that much more lonely & solitary. I sometimes wish I had something tangible to point to, so I could say to people, “here, here is the manifestation of my depression” and they would understand, they would believe. but I can’t.

so I write instead, finding the words on paper that I can’t find the voice to say out loud. I write sentences to make sense of this tangle of feelings I can’t untie and set right within my head. I write paragraphs to simultaneously explain and maintain the walls I’ve put up between me and judgmental questions. I write thoughts to give what I’m experiencing a corporal existence.

I write to give life to the atrophy I’m feeling. I write because it’s the only way I know how to live my way through the dark.

thank you for reading.